Waiting Game

It's a wednesday morning, and we just got back from our 37 week appointment. I've had a beautiful pregnancy and even though i know that being pregnant and having the baby inside is easier than having the baby outside....I am utterly miserable. I feel like I have hit the limits of my patience and I am kind of driving myself crazy. I want to meet our little son so badly, I want to see his face, I want to go through the adventure of giving birth, and then all the challenges of parenthood. With every contraction and tightening, with every kick, I start playing these mind games about when he'll come. Is this labor? It could be? Maybe this is the start....

The thing is, labor probably has started in a sense, my body is preparing for what it needs to do, but my temptation is to want to speed up the process. Sometimes, in these times when I'm hit with the reality of "this could happen anywhere from now until three weeks from now," I selfishly"get" why women would elect to schedule an induction -- YET at the same time this is another example of why pregnancy is another example of God's amazing creativity in design. How better to learn the disciplines of patience, of welcoming the unexpected stranger, and of simply being still, resting in His creation. I have been created to give birth a certain way, and Asa has been created to come out a certain way :) I have to surrender my own plans about what should be happening and when it should be happening and just go with the design. As simple as it is this is another opportunity to live Jeremiah 29:11 "¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I am blessed to be able to partake in the blessing of motherhood and pregnancy. Intervening with the design is not proper, and I just have to remember, if nothing else, I've waited nine months, I can wait another week or two ;) Oh, and also, that I am doing the work I've been given to do--to grow a baby. Now it's time to rest in this work, knowing doing it is good.

I am participating in a miracle. I can wait another couple weeks....but I'm allowed to complain about my waddle.

ps.[Funny pregnancy thing week 37--I have a weekly outfit. With each new week, I have grown out of what previously has fit. So I get creative with my wardrobe, pick out one or two outfits and wear them all week. This week, it's a black dress with a belly band worn as a tube top. Next week will probably be Seth tank top with stretchy pants....oh man.]