Friday, September 17, 2010

Project #2

I made another few pictures. This is just a test print. It needs some dodging. But it's baby Emerson, a mighty yawn, only eleven hours old.

I was thinking yesterday as I went home from school, and after a pretty successful developing session, how scared I originally was to develop film, and then how complicated enlarging seemed. The butterflies are gone and I am able to go into a darkroom feeling completely at home. I really really like it. I might not know exactly how to get a great print, but I'm working on it. And I like that. I used to dread going the studio (in fact, I still hate going in to finish paintings......grrrrrr), but going in on my day off for photo is a completely different story. I don't know if I've ever enjoyed "practicing" anything like I enjoy "practicing" the darkroom.

Now. Let's hope I can get the exposure time right.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

God's Country.

Really, I was just flipping through the radio stations since my two were on commercial break. That's when I stumbled on "God's Country." I thought I might have been misunderstanding, but then a listener came on and gave his prerecorded testimonial about the inspirational music the station promotes. Travis Tritt's "It's a Great Day to be Alive" was playing. [okay. I know this becauseI watched CMT (yes, it happened, actually at various times in elementary and high school)]
Anyways, I just couldn't believe it: a Christian radio station that plays secular country western music. It's like they are suggesting perhaps the stereotypical assumption that, overall, country music is more wholesome than other genres (rock, pop, hip hop, rap). I argue: how can they elevate country to that level? It's kind of like they choose certain songs and pretend the others by that musician don't exist. Travis Tritt has some uplifting songs, I'm sure. But what about his song, "Girls Gone Wild?" (i looked it up. i was not convinced he was the most outstanding Christian figure, at least from my experience, these types of stations try to promote). What about Carrie Underwood's song about getting revenge at her ex? Sure, we all experience similar feelings, but that's not really a Christian virtue: revenge. This radio station, "God's Country" uses this tactic (taken from their website

"Our approach uses the medium of Country Music to attract an audience that may have an aversion to traditional Christian radio. Through our use of mainstream Country icons like Alan Jackson, Randy Travis, Carrie Underwood, Brad Paisley, Martina McBride, Rascal Flatts, we hope to capture mainstream America."

That's right. Lure them in, to "God's Country," which has bad connotations in and of itself, [if you've read my blog enough you should know what I think about people calling USA, a nation under God....plah plah plah. This is not God's special country. and country music is not God's music. The good ole country folk are no better or worse than anyone else.] with a misleading listen into what is good and wholesome.

I feel as though God's art/music/whatever should probably give a true look listen or feel into something. Wow. That says nothing but everything about what I'm trying to explore in my own studies as an art student. Certain things might not be appropriate, sure, for some viewers/listeners, but I feel real art is that that truely shows or gives..............And that art is what we as humans, as a society, as a culture are lacking maybe?
This could easily move into why Disney movies might be most inappropriate for children. What is true about those (where is the virtue in Cinderella?)? I'm not, at all, arguing that everything has to have a virtue to be art, but that it can't run around pretending that it does when it doesn't. OR maybe what I mean to say is, we should reconsider what we think is "good."

"God's Country" is a little strange, or maybe just a bit humorous. Dolly Parton (whose music I love) is on the homepage of their website. It's just strange to me that, from one who used to try to find secular-musicians-who-were-also-Christians I could look up to, that this site is essentially putting Dolly miss, "You'd be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap!" Parton on that pedestal.

Basically, if people want Christian art or inspiration, look at this or this.

Anyways. That's enough of that. I walked into my house after a great day at school to the smell of our crockpot simmering away. I had almost forgot that I had started it earlier today. It smelled like what I think a Grandma's house would smell's been a while.

yummmmmmmmm. time to eat.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

boo yah [1st print]

i did it. i know it needs adjustment. but. i made something, and i like it. MULES!

Friday, September 3, 2010


I wonder if the panic and breakdown i experienced is only a natural part of any semester, especially one in which I'm embarking on something entirely new. When I started school last fall, I was, irrationally and emotionally, about to change my major back to English after trying to do my first drawing assignment. Today, as I was trying to organize the work I need to do with this photo and painting class in my planner, I panicked. There is so much work and I only am taking 12 credits. As any photo concentration at CSU knows; the majority of your work happens out of class. And, surprise surprise, the lab isn't open when I want it to be. I don't blame this on the professor, actually, I really like and respect him. It's going to be rough, and I'm trying to work up a thick skin, but I've never had a class that is quite as interesting and exciting as photo. Maybe it's just that I'm still realizing that I am doing what I want to do! Anyways, making photos is going to involve late nights (the darkroom is open from like 5or6 until 11 at night), and weekends. I need to get used to this (and not being home to just have a nice relaxing evening with my Seth. That's actually the real and only bummer). Oh, and I need some serious convincing that grades arn't everything. I will not be making As I will not be making As. I want to do this so bad, but I also know that I will learn and fail and get better, but it will take time. I might even get a C. duh duh duh
But then I have these other stupid classes that are demanding my attention. And after this semester, I will have more stupid classes. Really. I don't want to paint. I don't want to learn history (I used to love both of these thing). So when I looked at my outline of the next three semesters, and realizing that my time is going to be more and more constricted, and that money is going to get more and more tight, I convince myself that school is irresponsible. I am not contributing, I am draining our funds. And all this money is going purely to something that I might fail at.
I'm not going to drop out. But that's my natural escape.

This was my train of thought this morning. Desperation, insecurity, fear. But then I went to the darkroom for the first time. And I made a proof sheet. I fogged the first sheet, but the second test proofs came out. Sure, the first negatives I made were ruined because of error in putting the film on the stainless steel reel, hence the screwed up proofs, but it's something I made. The little moments I saw a week ago are back and I can see them all, again.

really though. these suck. not because one side is dark (we were supposed to do that), but those chemical blotches make me kind of sad. Maybe it's good though; I made a huge mistake my first time; hopefully it can only get better. and don't i look totally indie?

happy freakin friday.