Saturday, February 12, 2011

Watch Out: I'm the Scrooge of Valentines Day

I hate Valentines Day. I've never liked it, and I don't think it's because I'm bitter about it or because I've received bad gifts. A girl magazine would read, "I'd take the lame and weird gifts over nothing at all," I just have to roll my eyes. First of all, it's totally a girl's holiday. I've never heard of a guy having a bad Valentine's day gift or getting weepy and emotional about it. It totally perpetuates this consumerist idea that women are nagging creatures who just eat up one's pay check. It perpetuates the very idea that we need gifts and attention to make us happy--a love that freaking CAN be bought. It's so dumb.
I understand that those who might see differently than me might say, but it's just nice to have a day that is dedicated to showing someone you care. It might sound cliche of me to say that every day should be an opportunity to show your love and affection to the one that you are with, but more than that, why be a part of such an arbitrary holiday, something so individualistic, something that goes so against what a good relationship should be (inclusive, community building, off the scale of materialism). We do not last in a bubble of love; this is not sustaining, but a community that encourages, that teaches, and builds love between a couple will sustain, but V-day does NOT encourage this. But really what modern construction of love does? Most of all though, it's not on the liturgical calendar, so why make a big to-do about it (I believe that alot of people might think that although today's Valentine's day might be a bit secularized, the day devoted to the act of giving and appreciating and loving follows the Christian narrative--but to me it seems like such a humanistic holiday-separated from any true Christ narrative, i also feel like it's just another example of making Christ relevant to today, rather than us making ourselves an example of how radical He was)? It's not like we flat out deny that these are events happening in the world, but we simply don't make a big deal about them. Seth and I love each other, and we know that and are completely content in knowing that so we don't have to work to impress one another and compete with other representations of love to prove something.
The other week I was interviewed for an article about undergrads who are married for a Valentine issue of the Collegian. It was really well done, and I, who always am afraid that I'll be misquoted, was represented honestly I think. But I secretly wished I would have said something about how we won't be celebrating Valentine's, not because we're an old boring married couple, but because we don't try to be romantic, because Romance is not good in itself, it's flimsy. We're trying to be content in our lives and each other, and I think that's one of the most lovely things we can do for one another. Oh, and to love others to better love each other. That's why last year's Valentines was so good; we were surrounded by our favorite friends, good food (though I won't be cooking this year--cooking doesn't agree with my pregnancy hormones), and the comforts of a life that has been building around us.
And so this year, Valentines may or may not be the same, I'll get home from work, possibly exhausted and nauseous, but looking forward to a night where I can study, in my house, with my husband, with some friends if they want to come over to play video games, a stupid awesome doggie, and with the new life growing inside me; I couldn't think of anything better--and I get to do this everyday!

Happy Saturday! Spring came early. For a day or two!

1 comment:

  1. But I miss the red velvet heart cake I used to find on the yellow-and-black-checkered table.