Friday, April 22, 2011

Good Friday 2011

It seems only fitting that as Easter draws near and as Holy Week ends so does my season of "fasting." Admittedly, I didn't really give up any food or fast in the normal sense but I made the discipline and practice of fasting from, well, hating my growing body. For me this looks like to get in the practices of eating often (very often) without guilt, of putting on clothes without changing a million times, of embracing and submitting to the changes that are necessary during this time; and to see them as beautiful as the crab apple blossoms all over town. As with usual Lenten practices, I have failed, many times, but I am becoming more accustomed to the higher numbers on the scales, the tightly fitting jeans, and wider looking face. To actually discipline myself to do something tangible I was challenged to set out my clothes the night before and NOT CHANGE. It's a really hard thing for me to do, and I failed a few times, just as I did on those days that "130lbs" really got me down (how do you really stop the thoughts that tell me "unmanageable, clunky, taking up too much room"?) But I also had many days where I delighted in the tummy I've got going, and if anything, laughed at how voluptuous I've become.... errrrr. And just as the trees are showing their baby leaves, and the grass is turning green, it seems only appropriate that I would see some promise of the spring to come, so as to encourage my journey in this pregnancy thing....
Yesterday we got to see our little baby. I remember thinking to myself specifically as I laid on the table, "look at that! this is why I will gain 30+lbs" I want to do this. I'll do whatever to hold you." I cannot wait for it: for motherhood, and putting aside my own vanities seems to be a huge step to properly move towards that reality. I love the kid already. AHHH. I could not stop talking about it. And I won't.
(Here's a picture, but I'm torturing my family and friends who are curious as I can't reveal the sex until Easter....)

this is our little one. looks like a member of the Cooper family, to me.

As we move into the Easter weekend I pray we all take today to reflect on the memorial of the death of Jesus Christ. I know it's a simple tenant to the Christian faith but, the man actually died. And he actually had his last meal and served his friends, as we commemorated last night for Maundy Thursday. The Christian faith, in all its mystery is real and challenging to our lives, and this time during Holy Week is the perfect opportunity and really vital time to orientate our lives to the Savior, to renue our lives to the promises made visible and attainable by Jesus' horrible death on the cross. As always, I want to bring up Masaccio's Holy Trinity where Mary points to the death, but in doing so points towards the Throne of Heaven: The Father, and Son and the Holy Spirit (in the shape of a dove) descending from Father to the Son. She points to the promises that we can choose to accept and to follow only because of His death, for as we see below, in the plain of us as viewers, as mortals, is the skeleton with the memento mori, "I once was as you are and I am what you will be."
Both a warning and promise, this is Holy Week 2011.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Brooke! Sorry I missed your birthday:-( It was a busy month and I've minimized FB time significantly which is my main avenue for birthday wishings. I always feel bad about missing peoples birthdays though. I think I'm just going to announce that nobody gets anymore birthday wishes from me!;-)

    Anyway, I think the 'growing' thing would really bother me too. It's amazing how so many women don't seem to think much about it, or care! It is natural though, and it's probably the best time in your life to really practice LETTING GO of the control, and also just letting go in general. I know.. it's one of the hardest things to do as I'm always trying to control my body too. The damn thing just keeps getting more rebellious! Between you and me though I think you've got plenty of room for a few permanent pounds:-) Be strong... you can do it!